Cryptic Messages?

I have noticed there is a group of people turning up their noses to cryptic messages people like to post on Facebook.

http://www.examiner.com/article/the-art-of-the-cryptic-facebook-message

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Cryptic-Messages-Suck/264645616677



While I notice most of the complainers mention people who usually post cryptic messages when they're angry at someone, and they claim it is because the people have a passive-aggressive nature, the truth is...cryptic messages serve many more purposes than expressing anger. Just like everything else in life, some people do things for the wrong reasons...and do them badly. To say that all people who enjoy cryptic messages are passive-aggressive and spend "11 hours on Facebook" is a bad generalization.

Please allow me to explain...

Facebook is a great place to say what you think and, while I don't always agree with what my friends post sometimes, I certainly don't complain about it. After all, if they're posting on their own site, who am I to complain about what they post? If I don't like it, I can just ignore it and move on. No big deal. If my friends "live" on Facebook and the posts get overwhelming, I block it from my newsfeed. I still love my friend, I just need to take their words...in small doses. It's an easy fix. I am not the Facebook police, and I am not a therapist.

This is how I see it...

If a person posts a cryptic message, and they're good at it, their intended target will pick up on it every time. If it isn't for me, why do I care what the message is? I'm not going to lose any sleep, or any of my time, trying to figure out a message that - obviously - wasn't intended for me anyway. When I see one, I just smile and know that someone - somewhere - is getting the message. Sometimes it's a message they like, other times...maybe not so much - those are the ones you see and go, "Ouch, I don't know who he/she is talking about,...but I'm glad it's not me."

I should mention the kind of cryptic messages that aren't "angry" ones. Sometimes it's a quote from a teacher/coach that only your old high school buddies will understand. It might be a movie quote that just a small group of your friends understand a funny incident that happened at that movie, at that moment, when you were all out together. If you're a teacher, like me, it might be a post that only someone who teaches could ever understand the true meaning. On rare occasions, it might even be a message you would post that only one person remembers a specific moment in time when those words were said or were important to you. See? It's not all anger management/passive-aggressive issues.

So, while I think we all have a right to our opinion, I think people who complain about cryptic messages should quit telling people to "get a life" and get a life of their own. Seriously. Why do they care what the message means? Don't they have something else to focus on? If the person wanted you to know the meaning behind it, you would.

Do I like to post cryptic messages from time to time?

Yes, I do. In fact, I find it fun to play with words and get responses from the people who know exactly what I mean. I also love to post messages with double meanings. I will say, though, that I don't usually post those messages because I'm angry or need to get something off my chest. I do them for fun.  I also don't do it to get attention from other people asking me what I mean. My intended audience always knows what I mean.

You know, it kind of reminds me of an incident in my past (LONG before Facebook)...

Once upon a long time ago, my dad happened to walk in to the same cafe where I sat eating lunch with some coworkers. He knew the owner and workers in the cafe, so he waved and said hello when he came in. Dad came over to our table, and I introduced him to the other ladies. He was courteous to everyone, but after a few minutes he turned to me directly and said something. I don't even remember now what it was, but it was something he was saying to just me, while the other ladies were talking to each other.

At the end of what he said, one of the ladies happen to catch that he was speaking to me. She looked over at him, almost expectantly, thinking he would repeat what he had said when she wasn't paying attention. She raised her eyebrows to him, as the other ladies finished talking, and everyone looked at the two of us. I noticed it, but my dad was still looking at me. He then turned to face the women at the table as one said, "I'm sorry, I didn't hear what you were saying to her. You were mumbling too low." My dad looked her straight in the eye and said, "I wasn't mumbling, I was speaking to my daughter. If I had wanted you to understand what I was saying, you would have." My dad then smiled, told us all to have a good day, winked at me and walked away.

Now, you could argue that it isn't the same thing, but I think it is. Other people could see my dad and hear my dad, they just didn't know what he was saying to me. The "messages" he gave when he walked in the cafe varied: one was for a large group (the cafe crowd he knew), one was for a smaller group (the ladies at my table), and one was for just me. We were all in a public place together, but each "message" was intended for different people.

So, here's my advice for people who complain about cryptic messages... 

Next time you see a cryptic message that you don't get, just leave well enough alone. If the writer wanted you to understand it, you would have. If you have a passive-aggressive friend who uses cryptic messages to get attention and it gets on your nerves, block them from your newsfeed.

Here's another thought...

Maybe you should get some friends who are a little more mentally and emotionally balanced. Find some people who are intelligent and well-read enough to know how to play with words and have fun with them or who understand all the same references to novels, movies, and song lyrics. If you do that, you can all join in on the fun! ;)

And, now, it's only fitting I leave you with a cryptic message of my own...

"There's no word like the name that I call you."

About Facebook Friends

Once upon a time, in the Summer of 1981, I was fifteen years old. It was that summer that I learned a very valuable lesson from my dad...

(I know, you're wondering what could this possibly have to do with Facebook when the founders of Facebook weren't even born in 1981...and the internet, as we know it, didn't even exist. Hang in there with me, I promise it'll all make sense.) 

That particular summer, I had just finished my first year of high school (which was 10th grade, back then), and I had certainly had my share of first love heartache. I was glad to get away from home for awhile and spend some time at Myrtle Beach. My dad and stepmom chose to stay at a nice campground on this particular trip, and it had its own video game pavilion and other fun things to do around the campground.

Shortly after we arrived, I met this boy (isn't that the way teenage summer romances go?), and he seemed very sweet and funny and smart. Did I mention cute? Ah, yes, he was very cute. Most importantly, he seemed to like me a lot. Now, for a girl still trying to mend a broken heart, it's quite flattering and healing to have another guy pay you some attention and want to get to know you better.

The boy and I spent some time at the beach together during the day and, as evening came around, he asked me to meet him at a place near our camper and promised he'd show me the video game pavilion. He told me that his family had camped there since he was little, and he knew everything about the place and where everything was. He wanted to show me around. Again, I was flattered.

Once we met up that night, we began talking and walking around. It was pretty dark and, after we'd been walking a bit, I mentioned that I felt sure we should've gotten to the pavilion some time ago. He assured me we were almost there. Just about the time we had taken two more steps, bright headlights from a car threw a spotlight on us. You can imagine my surprise when the car came to a sudden halt, the car door opened, and I heard my dad's deep voice say, "Kim, get in the car."

Now, when my dad told you do something, you didn't ask questions. Aside from the fact he was my dad, he was also a police officer. I knew from his tone he wasn't happy. I was embarrassed in front of my new crush, of course, but I knew not to question my dad. I turned to the boy and said, "Sorry, I gotta go," and quickly walked over to the car and got in.

Once I was in the car, my dad drove back to the camper. He asked me who the boy was and where I was going. I told him we were going to the pavilion, that we were almost there when he stopped us. My dad grunted a tense, aggravated sound (something he does when he's unhappy). I told him I didn't think I was doing anything wrong. He told me that I wasn't, but the boy was. I didn't understand. I'll never forget the look on my dad's face or his next words, "Kim, I've been looking for you. You two weren't anywhere near the pavilion. I don't know where he was taking you, but it sure as hell wasn't the pavilion."

Now, I don't want to make some sixteen-year-old boy seem sinister. Maybe all he wanted to do was steal a kiss? I'll never know. I wouldn't want to know,...and I never saw the boy again. Lucky for the boy, my dad never saw him again either. Lucky for me, I gained some insight that night, and I learned not to be so naive.

The next day, some friends of mine showed up and asked my dad if I could go with them for awhile. A bunch of them were staying at a hotel not far from the campground. We headed back to their hotel to hang out on the beach and swim. I had a great time hanging out with my friends! You know, with people I actually knew and could trust.

What does this have to do with Facebook friends? Well, let's just say that after all these years, the lesson I learned that night at Myrtle Beach still sticks with me. I don't ever go places with people I don't know, and...I don't allow people I don't know to become my Facebook friends. Every friend I have on my Facebook is someone I know - and not because of the internet. I use Facebook as a way to connect to people I know, not meet people I don't know...who can appear to be anything they'd like to be over the internet. I share pictures of my family and friends on my facebook page, and I tell about my life. Why would I open that personal information up to someone I don't know?

At the camper
with my little brother, Chris
Summer of 1981

It dumbfounds me that people think it isn't a big deal to open up their life to a perfect stranger. I am amazed at the number of people who get on the internet and don't educate themselves on how to use it safely. Facebook has tutorials, folks! It tells you all about your privacy settings and how to limit or block certain information.

You wouldn't walk in a dangerous part of town, all alone, in the middle of the night, unguarded and unprotected,...but you'll play on the internet uneducated?! That kind of ignorance reminds me of myself in the Summer of 1981...

(P.S. Thank you, Daddy, for watching out for me!)