Sunday, October 25, 2015

Missing Me

I love being alone.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being around other people, too,...but it's a real luxury these days to be alone with just myself. This weekend is the first time I've have quiet solitude in over a month (and I wasn't getting very much of it even before then). I define 'quiet solitude' as being alone with nothing that has to be done and no place I have to be.

For this weekend, I left all my work at work and promised myself I would not think about my job after I walked out of the building on Friday. I made sure I did not commit any of my weekend time to social activities. And, while I love my family, I let them know I needed time to myself. They understand, they know how I am. Outside noise and activities begin to collide with the noise inside my head, and it all just gets to be too much. Quite frankly, I was desperate to shut the world out for awhile.

I'm happy to say Mother Nature has given me the perfect weather for my quiet weekend. It's been raining, soft and steady, since Friday morning. The world of sound has been muffled for awhile, blanketed by autumn rain. There is a slight chill in the air, perfect weather for curling up with a quilt beneath the shelter of the patio and reading a good book while I enjoy a hot cup of coffee. What more could a girl want?

Why do I like being alone?

I miss me. You know, the real me. The me who isn't busy being what someone else wants or needs. I like being able to hear my own thoughts without interruptions or distractions. I like to do what I want with no one paying attention. I enjoy my own company. Some people think it's odd to want  to spend time alone. I think it's odd for someone to always want to be around other people. To each her/his own, I always say. I only know that, occasionally, reclusiveness is something I need in order to keep my sanity.

What do I do when I'm all alone?

I read, of course, but I do other things, too. I listen to music, dance around the house, take long bubble baths, enjoy a good wine, write, go on long walks, and...I tend to talk to myself now and then. Yes, out loud. I also read out loud to myself, from time to time, if what I'm reading tempts me to do so,...which reminds me to tell you about the book I'm reading that tempted me from the start.

I'm currently reading Kate Morton's new novel The Lake House. So far, I'm really enjoying it. I'm not quite sure if it's because of the book itself or because I'm just so happy to have time to read. Or maybe it's a little of both? Either way, I'm a happy girl. I love the way Morton's characters describe how they feel and  describe their surroundings. This novel takes place in Cornwall, a place I've visited and love, which makes the book even more interesting to me. I'll review the book properly when I finish it.

I have to go for now. Kate's book awaits, along with a few other relaxing things I have planned for myself before the weekend is over. Once it ends, I will happily rejoin the world and be a much better human being. I will be refreshed, renewed, restored, and ready for the next round of whatever life brings me.

I hope this post finds you well and enjoying your own weekend. I also hope you're treating your brain to a really good book.

Happy reading! 

Sunday, October 4, 2015

I wish...

I wish we were all the things I once thought we were. I wish I could rely on the things I should be able to rely on. I wish I didn't take disappointment in stride because I've gotten so used to it.

I wish many things that will never come true.

And,...I guess I've gotten used to that, too.